Laurelin in the Rain

July 4, 2008

Plagiarising myself: a re-post

Filed under: Feminism, Political/ Personal, Violence, the sexism of our 'allies' — Laurelin @ 2:24 am

I think what I said here needs to be said again, so I’m quoting myself, to remind us of the fallacy of the charges brought against radical feminist theory. I’m not a fan of repeating myself, but here I think it is necessary as the same ‘arguments’ are bandied about.
This post was written in April 2006 following a conference which I attended commemorating the life of the late Andrea Dworkin, whose courageous soul is now resting. I also wish to revisit her at some point, and blog further about what she means to me, and to other radical feminist bloggers. It doesn’t seem enough to say she made sense of many of our experiences, and brought to the surface those doubts and that anger which lay beneath. She is one of the most maligned feminists, a dubious honour which she does not deserve. She received death and rape threats from cowardly men who despised her for her intelligence and her bravery, her vision and her refusal to comprimise. But this must wait for a more productive day. Today I shall just repeat myself and, of course, many others:

Welcome to the post I promised about the difference between feminist and religious fundamentalist arguments against pornstitution!

At the Dworkin conference, a speaker from Feminists Against Censorship suggested that radical feminist arguments against pornography ‘play into the hands’ of religious fundamentalists. The suggestion seems to be that feminists should not attack pornography because religious nutcases attack pornography. We should ignore the harm pornography does to women because it is trivial compared to looking like you agree with the right. Hmmm.

What exactly is meant by ‘playing into the hands’ of religious fundamentalists? Are they all going to suddenly jump up and down in glee yelling ‘Yay! Feminists who oppose our oppression of women and promote women’s independence from male authority and religious domination hate pornography too! Well gosh, they must be on our side really. Take that, secular leftists!’? Are we suddenly going to be overtaken by the desire to submit to restrictive and misogynistic doctrine of fundamentalists? I rather doubt it, given that feminists vehemenously oppose what religious fundamentalists stand for: patriarchy.

If I was feeling malicious (and I am), I would suggest that this ‘playing into the hands’ crap orginates as the cry of those leftist men who regard the consumption of porn as their natural right, and the women’s liberation movement as a mere subset of leftist politics. To them let me just say, women are dying because of pornography and prostitution. Women are raped and abused in the practice of pornography and prostitution. You want us on your side? Then fight pornstitution. Help us. Fight the degradation and abuse of women, examine your own assumptions and privileges, get the rapists off those women’s bodies. We can’t wait for your revolution. And we won’t let you off the hook because your pride is damaged by the ridiculous fear that the right wing are laughing at you. Deal with it.

Okay, I went off on a bit of a tangent there.

I also want to point out that the opposition of feminists, and the opposition of religious fundamentalists to pornography and prostitution could not be more different. Radical feminists, indeed, argue that pornography owes its existence to the religious view of women’s bodies, and therefore sexual activity as dirty and wrong. Pornography gets its thrill from degrading women, and therefore skips along happily with the oppressive mores of religious fundamentalism. If sexual activity was seen as healthy and normal, those who today consume pornography would have no need for it.

Radical feminists further speak of how the women in the pornstitution industry end up there, point out the lack of real choices, how sexual abuse and poverty feature in the lives of the majority of women in the industry. I have yet to see religious fundamentalists discuss these issues, and I will happy to be pointed to somewhere where they do.

Religious fundamentalists oppose pornography because they assert that sex (which they define solely as penis-in-vagina intercourse) is dirty and improper unless it takes place in a certain context. That context is of course marriage under male domination, in which the wife is the sexual property of her husband; her adultery will likely be treated with much more severe punishment than that of her husband. They oppose pornography because they believe it literally does depict the ‘whore’- who is the polar opposite to the devoted and chaste wife and mother. They oppose pornography because, like pornstitution’s defenders and popular culture as a whole, they confuse pornography with sex.

Radical feminists oppose pornography because of the damage that it does to the women involved in it, and women in the society as a whole in which pornography is normalised. They recognise that women will not be free until there is no rape, no pornography, no defining a woman purely by her sexual function, no misogyny, no objectifying of women, no poverty. They recognise the damage pornography does to the attitudes of men towards women and of women towards women, expressed in contempt for rape survivors, disregard of the unrelenting violence women face everyday and the assumption that the male and female sexualities as depicted in pornographic media are true representations, and not social constructs linked to a hierarchical society in which men rule over women.

Radical feminists cannot give up their opposition to pornstitution because it upsets the left. Any understanding of women’s oppression in the world requires an understanding of the oppression of women in one’s own culture. We will not help our sisters under the rule of religious fundamentalists by ignoring misogyny in our own culture, nor by acting as if our culture is something to be envied. We will help them by listening to what they have to say, and aiding them in their struggles.

We must not abandon any group of women, as the moment we do, feminism means nothing.

June 26, 2008

Bits and pieces from your headache-addled host

Filed under: Feminism, History, Sexuality, Violence — Laurelin @ 1:41 am

Well, I’ve finished my course of generic antibiotics, and it appears that, to quote the Verve, the drugs don’t work. I still have sinusitis, and my answer to all requests for my presence is limited to ‘if I don’t have a throbbing headache, I’ll be there’. I have been redirected to chemist-bought remedies by my doctor, which are at least a lot cheaper than NHS prescriptions these days (though since watching Michael Moore’s Sicko, I feel I should limit my complaints about the NHS and resume thanking my lucky stars that we have one).

*********

Heart has started a new blog aimed at fighting the lies spread around the blogosphere about radical feminists. She has begun with some of the more repeatedly repeated slanders which have been launched by various people opposed to radical feminism. Most of the things that have been said about me in the blogosphere have either been so stupid as to be easily refuted by a five-minute perusal of my blog (bigoted, fascist, moron, hate-filled etc.), others have been those standard labels for rowdy females by means of which the namer shows his own misogyny and general idiocy, and some have been baseless insults nonetheless cleverly targetted to cut me deeply in the heart. (Seriously. I have been grimly impressed by the abilities of some of my detractors to work out which insult would most pull my strings. I should be flattered that they loved my blog enough to pay such obsessive attention to it!) I’ve discussed the sorts of insults thrown at radical feminists here, here and here.

**********
Nineteenth century feminist quote of the day:

The root of the evil [of prostitution] is the unequal standard of morality; the false idea that there is one code of morality for men and another for women… As a floating straw indicates the flow of the tide, so there are certain expressions that have become almost proverbial, and till lately have passed unchallenged into conversation and in literature, plainly revealing the double standard which society has accepted. One of these expressions is ‘he is only sowing his wild oats’; another is, that ‘a reformed profligate makes a good husband’…. We never hear it carelessly or complacently said of a young woman that ‘she is only sowing her wild oats’.

Immoral men know that for every victim you save, they can easily get another to fill her place, so long as public opinion is unchanged, and male profligacy is condoned.

Josephine Butler, a nineteenth century feminist who fought the Contagious Diseases Acts which forced brutal physical examinations and detention on prostitutes and women believed to be prostitutes. She was remarkable in being one of the first women to publicly speak about prostitution, veneral disease, and to place the blame for prostitution on men, in an age in which women were subject to condemnation for the mere act of speaking publicly, let alone about sexual violence. Butler’s demands that men regulate their sexual behaviour in order to protect vulnerable girls and women have been deliberately misinterpreted in later times as an imposition of an oppressive ‘anti-sex’ morality upon poor little men. Anyone else feeling that deja vous, or is it just me?
Several of her essays can be found in Sheila Jeffreys ed. (1987) The Sexuality Debates, which contains also nineteenth and early twentieth century medical tracts, ’sexology’ and feminist works.

More to come, when I am less tired.

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Thank you for all the lovely random comments! Please keep them coming.

June 19, 2008

Comments, requests and randomness please

Filed under: Political/ Personal, me me me and memes — Laurelin @ 11:56 pm

I would very much like to blog but at the moment I have all the creativity of… um… a crushed biscuit. And I have sinus headaches.

So instead, I would like to invite random comments and requests :)

So please everyone join my open thread! (it will still ruled be ruled by my iron fist of censorship if necessary).

And please, at least one comment, else I’ll feel lonely! xxx

June 13, 2008

Probably a hiatus

Filed under: me me me and memes — Laurelin @ 8:50 pm

…because at the moment I am ill.

hmph.

June 5, 2008

in pieces- notes unrevised & spontaneous

Filed under: Feminism, Political/ Personal, Sexuality, Violence — Laurelin @ 12:03 am

the body is fragmented
parts standing in for the whole
well no, not the whole
disembodied breasts, lacquered lips,
backsides, nails
stand in for ‘woman’
or rather, they stand in for sex
severed from the human being
the soul the mind the heart
that lives and breathes
knows and suffers
laughs and weeps severed
from the most of life
and plastered on the walls

every part is needed as women
are not fragments
to be glued together
the living the breathing the thinking
the strand of steel
which holds the self together

&&&&&&&&&

an advert, for perfume or something
charlize theron marches into her room
pulls off earrings & gorgeous silk &
says life is better with nothing on

her feet swaying in her heels;
tottering on stilts

&&&&&&&&

the body is fragmented;
the part for the whole

this part is ’sexy’
we take this part, and this, and this
fit them together and make perfection

beautiful/ full of beauty
a fragment cannot be full
a fragment cannot speak
it cannot tell its truth
its history
it can neither affirm nor deny
it cannot wish, desire
it cannot hate or love
most vital of all
it cannot resist

beautiful/ full of beauty
look at the whole
the body fragmented
swiftly dies
a fragment cannot survive
without the others

&&&&&&&

yes i know in csi the evidence speaks
they look at the marks on the body
bring together the picture
from the crime scene pieces
and they will tell us something
but the body still is dead

June 2, 2008

A quote

Filed under: Feminism, Political/ Personal, Sexuality, Violence — Laurelin @ 6:37 pm

To confront pornography and listen to the women hurt in it and by it, and still to cast pornography as merely a free speech issue, or merely as a matter of who feels offended by what, requires a stunning exercise of deliberate blindness, an extraordinary numbing of one’s basic capacities of sympathy, moral identification, and outrage. It indicates that privilege is being defended with all the perceptual and conceptual resources at one’s disposal — the privilege of being a man, yes, but also the relative comfort of being a woman who believes it cannot and will not happen to her.

Rebecca Whisnant (2004) ‘Confronting Pornography: Some conceptual basics’ in Not for Sale: Feminists Resisting Prostitution and Pornography ed. Rebecca Whisnant and Christine Stark 

May 9, 2008

To the two women who liked my ‘Bin the Bunny’ t-shirt yesterday

Filed under: Feminism, Political/ Personal, me me me and memes — Laurelin @ 11:17 am

Yesterday I was in a certain town whose name begins with O, wearing my Bin the Bunny t-shirt, searching for secondhand bookshops and generally cursing the heat (yes, it is occasionally warm in England). Two women at two different points in my day stopped me to say how much they liked my t-shirt, which, as you can imagine, made me very happy and very glad that I chose that particular garment to wear. I told them to google ‘bin the bunny’ to find the home of these t-shirts.

So on the off-chance that those two women happen to read my blog (very off-chancy, I know), here is the official Bin the Bunny website. And thank you so much for making my day, and reminding me of the very real resistance out there to the objectification of women!

love and hugs and t-shirts,
Laurelin

May 7, 2008

a ramble on anxiety disorder and conversation

Filed under: Mental Health — Laurelin @ 10:26 pm

Anxiety - it can really mess you up.

You say something… then you are overwelmed by the feeling of how wrong you are, how dreadful it was for you to have spoken. You may start shaking, sweating, derealising, depersonalising.
You have to put it right. You backtrack. The feelings increase in intensity. You are still wrong. You must be wrong. You can feel the wrongness everywhere. Worse than ‘wrong’ (as in merely incorrect, mistaken) you are bad.
You try to speak again, perhaps, but every word you say is wrong. You are getting it wrong. You are failing, trembling. You feel pathetic and weak.
The more you speak, the more you try to communicate at this juncture, the wronger and eviller you feel. You backtrack, you try to explain, the words do not come, you must have it wrong.
The ‘wrong’ feeling crawls inside and is with you wherever you go, whatever you do. You curse yourself because you were pathetic. You curse yourself for backtracking, for giving in, for speaking in the first place.
Speaking is a trap, perhaps. The more you backtrack, the worse it gets.

The answer is, of course, to back off. You learn not to comment online when you are in the midst of a panic attack such as this, you will embarrass yourself, and then curse yourself eternally.
You know you need to back off, if only for a while. Back off and think. What are you trying to say? What is the real issue here? Whence comes the panic?
You have to put up with your own imperfections, you have to allow yourself to make mistakes, to sound stupid or weak, to accept that you will not always reach the impossibly high moral standards you have set for yourself.

People with anxiety are often perfectionists with regards to themselves. Falling short of the mark is unbearable to them, yet inevitable.

So you finally retire, you grieve a little, and eventually the panic eases. Only you know it is there. Always there to some extent.
You try to live with your imperfections, try to make sense of your exaggerated sense of shame.

You try.

April 24, 2008

Time for a pointless post

Filed under: me me me and memes — Laurelin @ 12:30 pm

I’ve overslept, there’s some hayhever going on I think, and I’m desperate for a cup of tea. I’m also very achy from my last kung fu grading- would you believe that fighting two and then three people on one’s own is difficult? :) Still, I passed my grading and have been walking around (well hobbling really) feeling a ridiculous amount of pride. I’ve also been informed I have a very nasty punch and kick. Something to add to my CV, perhaps?

So it must be time for pictures of ducks:

And flowers:

And for the person/ people who have googled ‘laurelin pictures’, here are two self-portraits especially for you:

This one I call ’self-portrait with old keyboard’

And this one, ’self-portrait with new keyboard’

(’Tis true, I am in reality a disembodied hand with bony fingers. Secret’s out!)

Any more photo requests? Speak now while I’m still excited about having a camera on my phone…

April 23, 2008

Miss Sammi Berg Responds to her Detractors

Filed under: Feminism, Political/ Personal — Laurelin @ 12:38 pm

This post is another announcement by Sam Berg, this time in response to the rumours and slanders circulating around the blogosphere regarding her statement on William and Mary. I’m leaving the comments on for the time being, but the minute I receive abuse or other forms of stupidity they will be turned off. Rule number one: read The Rules before you comment.

There are a lot of lies being told about me right now. I’m used to that because it comes with the pro-woman activism that kooky kid called life dropped into my lap like an unexploded bomb, but it’s rather concentrated at the moment. Most of it is nonsense, like that I’m trying to get the pro-sex work group kicked off campus (I’m not) or that I’m afraid to debate sex workers (I’m not) or that I said RenEv made threats personally to me (she didn’t and I didn’t say she did), but there is one very serious bit of business tucked into the ever-heaping distortions that I feel must be addressed.

Renegade Evolution is saying that I sent her threatening private emails. I have never emailed RenEv. Not once. What would be the point?

So where did the supposed emailed “threat” come from? I think I know, and I think you’re all going to want to learn what I know, because the pieces are fitting together for me very clearly for the first time.

Remember that person who committed fraud by lying to one of Genderberg’s moderators about being anti-pornography and anti-prostitution so they could spy on our private forums and then release words from there publicly? If you need or want a recap about the violation of women’s safe space that happened one year ago today in April 2007 you can read this:

http://msjared.blogspot.com/2007/05/per … ample.html

Caught up? Good.

Also in April 2007, the aforementioned lying person started a hate blog called “Radical Feminist Terrorism” where the person who stole private writings from GB spewed her vituperative guts out with such psychotic absurdities as:

“You can’t really understand the hatred that is embodied in many of the posts on Genderberg. Many members of that forum simply do not see other women as human at all.“

“I am not sure why the belief that women should be free to live as they wish is so dangerous. I do know that to many in the Genderberg this belief in women’s freedom is utterly inexcusable. They will do anything to destroy it.”

“While many will claim that Genderberg is a “safe space” my belief is that there should be no safe space for those who work to destroy women. There should be no dark corner where ANYONE can get together and plot against or foster hatred of women.”

“There is no evil that these haters of women will not stoop to. There is no vile act of malice they cannot justify. They will do anything in their power to destroy or silence anyone they disagree with. In their hate they are trying to destroy her. In their blood lust for a purge they are trying to force Renegade Evolution to reveal who I am. They want to close the hole so they can go back to plotting against women in the dark.”

“In my time on Genderberg I read more hatred of women than I ever read or saw in pornography.”

Seeing how loony the anonymous Radfem Terrorism blogger clearly is, I brushed off replying substantively because the raging dementia speaks for itself.

Throughout May and June the moderators at Genderberg worked like demons to try and figure out which of the 100 or so members was the leak. We ask every member a series of questions before approving them and we were going member by member to try and restore some of the lost sense of security that made one prostituted woman feel she had to leave GB. By early July we pooled our research and figured out that the leak was someone who registered as “Miriam” with a bunch of hooey about being anti-pornography and caring about prostituted women. I deleted “Miriam” from the memberlist and sent her the following email on July 5, 2007:

“I feel bad for you because you’ve obviously been seriously fucked up by people in your life, but if you don’t back off slagging on radfems you’re going to force my hand.

I can prove you committed fraud when you lied to moderator deedle about your gb membership, and I can prove you were the one who leaked Pony’s words. Because you’re a pathological liar, you’re probably thinking you can lie your way out of this just like you’ve done other times.

You can’t.

I didn’t out you before because I have a soft spot for seriously fucked up women like yourself, but I’m not above initiating legal action to show the ex-sex workers in my little community that their privacy and continued peace of mind is something I take very seriously. If you cared about sex workers one tenth as much as you manipulatively tell people you do then you would not have violated a sex worker-heavy community like you did.

Stop telling lies, Miriam. You’re not as good at it as you think you are.”

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